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AtPontchartrain
03-06-2008, 05:21 PM
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Caller: So, I'm having a problem with my mouse? It's, like,
squeaking?


Agent: I'm sorry, did you say squeaking?


Caller: That's right. The faster I move it across the
screen, the louder it squeaks.


Agent: I'm sorry--are you pressing your mouse up against the
screen?


Caller: Well, sure! There's a message that says, "Click here
to continue!"


----


Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and
no matter how many times I type eleven, it won't unfreeze.


Agent: What do you mean, "type eleven?"


Caller: The message on my screen says, "Error Type 11!"


---


On one call, the caller seemed to be taking an inordinately
long time to complete each instruction she was given.


Agent: Ma'am, I can't help noticing that every time I give
you an instruction, it takes a really long time before you
get back to me. Is your computer that slow?


Caller: Oh, no, it's just the stupid, stupid design of this
computer. Every time I want to click something, I have to
unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every
time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the
mouse. Because there's only one jack.


Agent: Ma'am, you do realize that there's a jack on the
keyboard itself? You're supposed to plug the mouse into the
keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.


Caller: Are YOU KIDDING ME!? Oh, wait a minute--yes, I see it
now! Oh, holy cow. That's going to be so much easier!


Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using
your computer that way?


Caller: Six weeks!


---


A Canadian customer was calling to find out if there was a
faster way to trigger menu commands than mousing up to the
menus.


Agent: Certainly, sir. There are keyboard shortcuts for many
of those commands. For example, suppose you want to trigger
the Select All command...


Caller: Yes, I use that one all the time! How do I do it?


Agent: Well, you just press Control-A.


Caller (after a pause): Well, that's not working for me.


Agent: Do you have a text document open in front of you?


Caller: Yes, I sure do.


Agent: OK, now press Control-A.


Caller: I am, but nothing happens.


Agent: The text isn't highlighted?


Caller: No, there's no change at all.


Agent: That's odd. If you press Control-A, the whole
document should be highlighted. Try it again. Press
Control-A. Tell me exactly what's happening.


Caller (nearing his Canadian breaking point): Listen. I'm
pressing Control, eh? And nothing's happening, eh?


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http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/06/technology/personaltech/06pogue-email.html?8cir&emc=cir

Zydekitten
03-06-2008, 05:36 PM
http://bp2.blogger.com/_ckA8yZC02bc/RrYBZz7PI_I/AAAAAAAAAYg/zM_IrqEhRW8/s320/Kingsizehomeranykey.jpg